a cool "johari window"

i first saw this johari window at my dear friend eph2810's blog and thought it was a wonderful idea. if you'll take a few moments to head over to my johari window and pick a few personality traits you see, i'd love to see what my web buddies think!

the moods of a woman

An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,
A woman is a bundle of contradiction,
She's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,
But will tackle a stranger alone in the house.
Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose,
She'll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose,
She'll win you in rage, enchant you in silk,
She'll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk,
At times she'll be vengeful, merry and sad,
She'll hate you like poison, and love you like mad.

silence

Are you listening
To anything that I say
'Cause I been praying
How many prayers can I pray
I'm still waiting
Maybe You'll show up today

I know You're here, but I can't feel You
And if You're speaking, I can't hear You
How much longer will this last

(Chorus)
So okay Answer me with silence
It's okay if You don't say a word
You're testing me to trust You'll be faithful in this quiet
So okay
Answer me
With silence

Why do I question
Your intentions for me
When Your affection
Is a proven legacy

Oh Father, Father
Turn my fears into peace
I know Your love will never leave
I know You want what's best for me

You're testing me to trust You'll be faithful in this quiet

Oh, it's okay
If You answer me with silence
And it's okay if You don't say a word
You're testing me to trust You'll be faithful in this quiet
So okay
Answer me
With silence

as the lyrics in my last post said...

Things change, Plans fail
You look for love on a grander scale
Storms rise, Hopes fade
And you place your bets on another day

Time flies, Hearts turn
A little bit wiser from lessons learned
But sometimes, Weakness wins
And you lose your foothold once again

When it looks like you've lost it all
And you haven't got a prayer
Jesus will still be there

sometimes i do feel i haven't got a prayer, it hurts too much to say a prayer, but knowing He will still be there is enough!

while pain happens, things hurt, life still goes on - for me, it seems to help to stay busy. and while it feels unbearable at times, it doesn not mean life is awful...on the contrary, it makes me thankful for the grand times of life!

a great thing that has happened is that tarah and i got our stripes at karate last night! we're officially 7th gups!

it's always wonderful to see yourself improving. i guess God knew i would need this at this season in my life - He is in the details of my life!

baking has also been a way to stay "busy." to see how others light up at being given something so simple brings such an unspeakable joy that wants to jump from me! I want to thank berry mom for passing along such great recipes - particularly her poppy seed bread! it's quickly became a favorite and i've already had requests for more!

thanks to star, nic, paula, mom, tarah, berry mom, mike, and gordon for leaving such sweet, thoughtful, encouraging comments! you all have no clue how much i needed a few words to lift me up! you are all such a Godsend! :-)

when it hurts

Things change, Plans fail
You look for love on a grander scale
Storms rise, Hopes fade
And you place your bets on another day
When the going gets tough
When the ride's too rough
When you're just not sure enough

(Chorus)
Jesus will still be there
His love will never change
Sure as the steady rain
Jesus will still be there
When no one else is true
He'll still be loving you
When it looks like you've lost it all
And you haven't got a prayer
Jesus will still be there

Time flies, Hearts turn
A little bit wiser from lessons learned
But sometimes, Weakness wins
And you lose your foothold once again
When the going gets tough
When the ride's too rough
When you're just not sure enough

(Repeat Chorus)

When it looks like you've lost it all
And you haven't got a prayer
Jesus will still be there



when it hurts so much that i feel i haven't got a prayer, He'll still be there...

we've got our test papers for the next rank - yellow with stripes!!! well, it's just tarah and myself - faith didn't get hers! :-( the instructor who gave us the papers came over to me and said, "i don't understand this, you and your sister are testing but faith didn't get hers! if it was up to me, i would've already tested you all!" thing is, little faith is there more than we are! she'll sometimes attend three classes - three days of the five we're there, she'll go to at least two! we're thinking she'll get hers in the next week or so...

my back is a little better - although crunches at karate hurt it a little tonight. i hope it will continue to get better, although nathan and a few others are wanting me to see a chiropractor. next day i would have a chance to go is next tuesday, so i guess i'll consider going if it's still hurting a week from now!

i did have a few minutes to hear nathan's mother on the phone and have spoken to her briefly a few weeks ago ~ although i haven't met her, i love her! she seems so witty, lots of common sense, fun to be around, and just herself! i wish we could have already met, but you see she lives over 30 hours away from georgia! we're hoping to get a trip planned to spend some time with her in the next little while! :-)

as far as nathan and i, we're doing well! he's been a blessing these past few weeks. we've already been getting some of the "tough stuff" out in the open and dealing with it. i'm so grateful he's willing to be honest and be himself with me!

tomorrow, it's back to work. from what i hear, i'll get to meet a new waitress! even though i haven't met her, i'm still excited about working with her!

well, i better run and get a shower and get in the bed soon...

today & yesterday

well, today hasn't gotten off to a great start with my boss! lol the roads are wet and are said to be freezing under some conditions. so, i call and leave a voicemail on my boss' phone then sit back and wait until opening to call in and make sure he got the voicemail.

i place the call and he tries to argue with me about how the roads aren't freezing. he asks how long, 30 minutes, one hour, two hours? I consider the two hour option! hey, he shouldn't offer it! :-D lol but, i was realistic and said, "30 minutes to an hour."

"you dad going to keep you from leaving that long?" (english is his second language, which he speaks pretty well for a second language!)

thankfully, he's a cook and i won't have to see him too much throughout the day!

other than that....

spent some time with nathan's family ~ his little sister is so cute
went to eat with my aunt and uncle ~ had a blast
my back is lots better!
haven't had medicine for almost 12 hours!
going to try to do karate tonight ~ i hope it'll be alright and allow me to work out!

karate tournament

we got back really late last night from our 2nd karate tournament - this time taking home more brass! :-)

i had planned on being in the tournament, until i did something to my back on thursday and been on painkillers almost solid since then :-( so, i went as an official cheerleader!

it iced, snowed, and rained on the trip up. we get there, the girls and nathan get changed and begin their stretches and forms. before too long, marlin and richard join us "behind the curtains" warming up.



nathan decides to stay in stealth - being a "no belt" until right before his competition.



t places 3rd in forms, 1st in fighting!!! go t!





nathan does his form excellently and is placed 4th out of the 8 competitors!



we then rush to watch faith do her form...which we had made an executive decision for her to do basic form 1 because she is most confident with it. you've got to understand, basic form 1 has the most basic moves and i'm sure there will be others who are doing a lot more complicated moves and scored higher, but it just looked so much better! we're all hoping she places in the top 3 as there are lots of contenders and it's a popular age bracket.



after all of that, she placed 1st!



next to is to marlin's forms...



he placed 2nd!

next is faith's fight...



she fought a little boy is in the second round, and when she beat him he started crying! poor thing, he got beat by a girl and he was still crying after several more rounds. and, once again, she takes first!



next is nathan's fight...



he had some difficult competition, especially the last fight for 1st place.



the score was 4-3 when he got a sidekick in to make it a final of 4-5!

next up is marlin's fight...



in which he placed 2nd!

ibrahim also was the grand champion of the entire tournament...he's one of my instructors and an excellent fighter!



all in all, our school did very well! i think mr. ben was very pleased!



note: click on any photo to view more that i've uploaded...i've got several more to look at on my flickr site!

pictures & update

first, i want to apologize if anyone thinks i've been offended or anything because i haven't been posting regular or making comments like usual...nothing has happened, i still love my blogging buddies and i'm hoping to be back with you guys soon!

below are some pictures from this weekend! what's happened this week is...

made lots of mochas
even made a "ment mocha"
made a few vanilla fraps
was planning on entering my 2nd karate tournament tomorrow
but, hurt my back on wednesday
now it's doubtful i can enter tomorrow
went shopping last night
spent time with nathan
picked a new song to work on for praise in motion
worked on "mercy said no"

now for the highlight of the post....


here is a "natural" picture from this past weekend of nathan and i in the snow...

mom & i


t and i played the guys at ice hockey...first round the girls were declared the winners! second round, the guys got the better of us...final round, girls win 8-7!


nathanael and i played j & t after the girls officially won...here we scored!


more pictures from the snow...i can't believe i missed being in a cute pic like this one!


myself & t at the cabin


the cabin where we stayed - the one my parents have on an overnight rental program! we absolutely love to go there...well, unless there's a lot of work to do on the house! lol


sparring without the pads! faith loves to do this...

tagged...round four

Another Meme...I like this one because it doesn't require too much thought...

1) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
as for your own feminity, which would you rather have said of you - that you are a "tireless worker," or that you are a "captivating woman"? i rest my case. -- wild at heart by john eldredge

2) Stretch your left arm out as far as you can and see what you touch.
my styrofoam cup which i use to make sure i get enough water in daily :-)

3) What is the last thing you watched on TV?
mulan 2

4) Without looking, guess what time it is.
8:00

5) Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
8:22

6) With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
the tv in the big room, along with dad, mom, and t talking about softball

7) When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
actually, i just got back in from shopping with nathan to find a necklace to put my state champ ring on - yes, it was a huge step of trust to allow him to keep up with it!

8) Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
i checked my e-mail

9) What are you wearing?
a light pink, aeropostale shirt with jeans, my cute monkey socks, earrings which my darling bro jj got for me for valentine's, and my purity ring...more details anyone? hehe

10) Did you dream last night?
actually, i slept way too good to dream! i've only been getting like 5 hours of sleep because either i have to work or someone makes sure i'm up!

11) When did you last laugh?
tonight while shopping with nathan - after we found the necklace, he had to figure out how to get the ring on and he almost couldn't figure out how to get it tied back together! lol

12) What is on the walls of the room you are in?
a calender, off-white paint, an "airport" for internet connection (yes, we're mac peoples!), our alarm

13) Seen anything weird lately?
weird as in freaky or as in weird weird?

14) What do you think of this quiz?
it's wonderful! just what i've needed to blog tonight!!!

15) What is the last movie you saw?
mulan 2

16) If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
a silver gt mustang, matching dresses for our praise in motion group, a few investment properties, and a contractor to remodel for a coffee shop! oh, and a few new earrings wouldn't be out of the picture!

17) Tell me something about you that I don't know.
i do have a mean streak! lol no, seriously, i'm a workaholic and i push myself (and, unfortunately those i'm close to) to keep performance up. i seem to find some worth in completing projects - which isn't all bad in itself, but i need to realize that people are important, too!

18) If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
{i agree with nic's andswer!} I would get rid of all kinds of abuse. Physical, verbal, emotional, mental, sexual, substance (think drugs and alcohol) and any other kind you can think of. There're too many heartaches, hurt and broken homes, broken lives and broken spirits because of it. Nobody, especially innocent children, should have to endure any kind of abuse - ever. It's something I'm really passionate about and it's something that makes my blood absolutely boil. It's my big hot button.

19) Do you like to dance?
i absolutely love the interpretive dance! not only is it praising the Lord, but it's leading others to worship. as far as the most commonly used "dance" i love certian types! i love the beat!

20) George Bush?
he came through for the republican party when they needed a "boost" after the clinton years, although the republican party needs a new image for the upcoming election!

21) Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
hmm, i'd probably take a mix of family names and try to give her a very meaningful name full of family heritage! maybe a little weird, but it's what i've always thought of!

22) Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
i've always wanted to my first son to be a junior after his father - a man i know i will love, will deserve the honor, be a wonderful father, and i will want his name carried on for generations! :-)

23) Would you ever consider living abroad?
nope, i'd have a hard time moving out of my state! lol

24) What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
"you've shown My love, compassion, mercy, grace. you've freely given of yourself and became a servant. you've made a huge difference in lives and changed others for the better. you've challenged them and gave them a direction to follow. well done, my faithful servant!"

now to who i tag...

radicalone - payback, mother dear!
virginia
vicki
ben

tagged...round three

10 Years ago:
began playing fastpitch softball
had been saved for 2 wonderful years
had few friends
was a tomboy
christmas seemed to take for-ev-er to come around!

5 Years ago:

softball, softball, softball
another sis added to the numbers (well, a little over 5 years ago)
went through a "spiritual desert"
i got a glimpse of my only beloved brother...he only lived for 5 months in the womb
met my first boyfriend

1 Year ago:

i was looking forward to my last year of tournament fastpitch softball
was trying to decide if i wanted to go to college
had to stop a serious relationship
i learned lots about people, trust factors, and how there are so few you can actually trust
was planning on being actively involved in politics

Yesterday:

was out of town and was met by 6 inches of snow!
almost got snowed in
met my boyfriend's parents {yes, he asked me to be his girlfriend this week...it caught me off guard, but it was a good thing - i'll have to post the story! :-) and, i do suppose all of this is why i haven't had as much blogging time...hehe}
worked out a learned a few "boxing" excercises
got bit for the first time by a dog - it didn't hurt, the dog was too small, but that didn't keep it from trying...to beat it all, it was at nathan's house! lol

5 Songs I know all the words to (well maybe not ALL but can definitely sing along)

everything to me
this is your life
wait for me
gonna getcha good
beautiful somehow

5 Things I'd do with a million dollars:

investment property
buy a silver '05 gt mustang
learn the stock market and begin investing there
open my own coffee shop
buy lots of baking stuff - so i could bake and go on "special deliveries" :-)

5 Places I'd ran away to:

oregon coast
smoky mountains (when it's snowing!)
a ski lodge
to my room
anywhere with snow

5 Things I'd never wear:

a jumper
hoops that drag your shoulders
a plaid, ankle-length skirt
all black
a tattoo

5 Favorite toys:

oven ~ for baking
my phone ~ important calls!
the coffee shop ~ to make different types of coffees
my karate uniform
mom's mustang

5 Favorite books or TV shows:

smallville
wild at heart
little house on the prairie
sue thomas, f.b.eye
journey of desire

5 Greatest Joys:

reading blogs & posting comments
working
spending time with my bestest friends
delighting my Father through interpretive dance
seeing someone receive a gift they've been waiting forever on!

5 People I tag

ryan
captain picard
gordon
steph
j & t

wow, things seem so crazy...i feel like i haven't had a spare second at home! Even my day off (yesterday) was packed full of entertainment and craziness!

yes rabenstrange, it sounds as if your team didn't quite make the cut! :-D sorry pal...there's always next year!!!

ok, the signing on sunday went wonderful! we successfully completed our entire 8 songs - and even performed redeemer again, at their request! the church was so warm and exciting to worship in! they seemed to get so much from it!

ok, to answer exactly what we do...about 5 years ago, i had been begging mom to let me take sign language classes. finally, she gave in and took us to a church class about an hour away once a week! a little while later, i was begging for them to make a bigger investment - a complete sign language dictionary cost $60 bucks! i was so into the sign language, they got it for my birthday. before long, t and i joined a dance team at our church and they incorporated a few signs into the dance, and since i had been working with sign language they asked me to help with a few signs and choreographing some new dances. about 2 months later, the praise team asked me to become a part of the band and do interpretive sign full time. needless to say, i really enjoyed this!

as of now, God has led us to other places and unfortunately away from this church and the dance team. however, He has put it in our hearts to reach others - to start our own group and go to different churches, different events praising him! t and i had gotten this started with a few songs and were already having booking requests. back in september, i started working with another young girl (savannah), who's the daughter of stacey - a girl who can really sing! by the time december came, stacey had told me she was ready to get some things on the road and to begin traveling to different churches. this was a definite answer! we thought and prayed and came up with the name praise in motion for the group, which has also added a male singer!

t and i use sign language as a base for our "visual" worship. it's so expressive, so beautiful. we work with stacey and josh to get songs they can sing and there are still a few we do on track. we also have the girls who bring such a sweet, pure worship before the Lord!

i hope that helps to explain what we do in our ministry! if there's any questions, please feel free to ask! :-)

we're back in town now...everything went wonderful! the host church was simply amazing - they even took an unexpected offering, which we will now be able to put into more music...i'm so excited about that! many hearts seemed to be touched, praise the Lord!

i've got to get to work, as last night was superbowl sunday and i stayed out a bit late watching the game and got up late! :-D i'll give more details and someone asked exactly what we did and i can't wait to share!

until then, my friends!

busy-ness

hey you guys! i've been soooo busy lately - seems as if i haven't had time to breath! our group, praise in motion, is preparing for a church this sunday morning...extremely exciting, but this will be the longest one we (tarah and myself) have ever done. it will be 8 songs long, with stacey singing 6 of them, josh singing 1 with her, and one on track. please pray for us, for the safety as we travel, for the people who we will be ministering to - that someone will be touched by Him, pray we'll have a great reception, for the "girls" who will be doing 3 songs, but most of all that we will all glorify Him and lead others to worship Him!

work and karate are still great! i haven't been spending as much time at the studio as i would like to, but i know there will be time for that when things slow down a bit! :-)

and eph2810...no, that wasn't too bold! honestly, i wish more mothers would help their sons in choosing a bride - they could offer so much wisdom and save lots of heartache! your future daughter won't be perfect, but she'll be perfect for your son! :-)