early morning hospital visit
well, i've been at the hospital all morning, along with the rest of the family - including angela, marty, kim, bill, josh, stephanie, & seth. things go so up and so down. it's just so hard to sit there and watch him suffer, to struggle, to fight for each breath. you can tell his spirit is tired of fighting. he's had so much patience, never once complaining of treatments, or pain, or some more blood being taken. he's been so strong, so steady. and when we go in and talk to him, to speak from our hearts, all he says is, "don't cry, i'm just sick." how can you help but cry? he's here suffering so, and comforting us.
and, chris, i took your wisdom and told him how i really felt about him. how good he raised my dad, how he was a strong man, how i listened to everything he said without question. at the end, he opened his eyes and looked at me. he didn't have to say anything, his all-knowing look was enough. but he did tell me he loved me, and that he was proud of who i was - and my grandmother came up and said they had always talked about how proud of their grandchildren they were, because they never had to worry about a single one of us being off late, or getting in trouble. thanks for the wisdom shared, chris, i think it made me feel a lot more at peace with everything. i told him and got it out of my heart for everyone to know.
it's so heart-breaking, not only am i struggling, but everyone around me is, as well. my cousins, wow, we just look at each other and start tearing up. i've cried on josh's shoulder, kim's shoulder, stephi and i cried together by his bedside, meme's been a trooper and is helping us, t and i have cried and hugged. needless to say, the grandchildren really pulled together this morning.
meme said she's been praying for a while now that if it would be His will, to take them together. she said today, "i guess that's not what's going to happen. He must not be done with me."
papaw's brothers from alabama visited today - and one of them looks just like him! i glanced at him for a second, having a flashback, and thought it was my papaw...
how times have changed. the only thing that keeps me from being a basket case is that i know where he's going, and know my entire family be there one day and have a big reunion!
guys, i'm sorry if this is long and boring - but it's therapy for me, to get it down and write about it. i guess i'm using this for a journal to keep up with what's happening when it seems the days are so long, yet time seems to go so fast.
and, chris, i took your wisdom and told him how i really felt about him. how good he raised my dad, how he was a strong man, how i listened to everything he said without question. at the end, he opened his eyes and looked at me. he didn't have to say anything, his all-knowing look was enough. but he did tell me he loved me, and that he was proud of who i was - and my grandmother came up and said they had always talked about how proud of their grandchildren they were, because they never had to worry about a single one of us being off late, or getting in trouble. thanks for the wisdom shared, chris, i think it made me feel a lot more at peace with everything. i told him and got it out of my heart for everyone to know.
it's so heart-breaking, not only am i struggling, but everyone around me is, as well. my cousins, wow, we just look at each other and start tearing up. i've cried on josh's shoulder, kim's shoulder, stephi and i cried together by his bedside, meme's been a trooper and is helping us, t and i have cried and hugged. needless to say, the grandchildren really pulled together this morning.
meme said she's been praying for a while now that if it would be His will, to take them together. she said today, "i guess that's not what's going to happen. He must not be done with me."
papaw's brothers from alabama visited today - and one of them looks just like him! i glanced at him for a second, having a flashback, and thought it was my papaw...
how times have changed. the only thing that keeps me from being a basket case is that i know where he's going, and know my entire family be there one day and have a big reunion!
guys, i'm sorry if this is long and boring - but it's therapy for me, to get it down and write about it. i guess i'm using this for a journal to keep up with what's happening when it seems the days are so long, yet time seems to go so fast.
posted by no_average_girl at 10:45 AM
15 Comments:
Defintely no need to apologize to your readers. It's a blessing to see the heart of a sister in Christ who is going through a tough time, but knows her anchor is in the Lord! May your eyes always look to Jesus so that every situation will be turned into a Romans8:28-29 situation.
I'm praying for your family.
I pray that these verses would be "fleshed out" or lived out in your life and those around you. The eternal hope of glory that your papaw has is incredible and I am encouraged that although you are struggling now, you look to the future for that which is much greater and better than this life. May God bless you.
Romans 5:3-5 (NIV)
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; [4] perseverance, character; and character, hope. [5] And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
He sounds like a great man who has left a spiritual inheritance to his children's children.
Your tears are so precious to God, and He has caught every single one. I truly believe His presence is totally surrounding your grandfather's bedside, warming his heart, drawing him close, and radiating into each one of your hearts. I'm praying for you all.
You are all truly a remarkable family. That's what brings tears to my eyes. Through everything you've shared and just knowing you, I can see what a beautiful and healthy, Christ-filled family you all are and that is such a blessing.
No need to apologise.Say whatever you wish; it is indeed theraputic to say what is in your heart.
Oh...You are so blessed to have that relationship with your grandfather. My grandaddy died right before Thanksgiving... I didn't get to say goodbye - and I deeply regret that I didn't know him better.
Praying for you sweetie.
I am with them. While time is on tell him how much you love him and tell him about Jesus while you can.
I pray that God will speak to your heart and share that all to your family, for what a blessing to have a good memories with our loved ones.
God bless you.
I just stopped by to thank you for visiting She Lives and for your kind words - they were very comforting.
I'm so sorry you having to go through such a difficult time. We all do, unfortunately. Know that God is with you and waiting for you to crawl up into His holy lap any time you're ready.
I pray for His perfect comfort and peace for you and your family just as He has given it to me and mine.
I pray that God will give you his comfort during this tough time.
Words aren't enough to make you feel better. I know it is difficult to see someone suffer especially if it's your love one.
It reminds me of my dad who passed away 3 years ago.
Oh, how hard to watch someone suffer! Yet, God is holding holding him in the palm of His hand. He knows the suffering. He knows the pain. But He also knows His purposes and plans and His timing is perfect.
Allow each tear to fall freely. Mine flow with yours as I write.
I'm praying for you.
I lost my father year before last, and it was really hard not just on me, but on my children who loved their grandfather dearly. My prayer is that the Lord will be very near and real to you during this difficult time.
I'm praying for you, hugs <3.
You're in my prayers. Much love.
NEVER Apologize. This is such a hard time and it is so good that you are making yourself vulnerable and being real with what you are feeling. I am mourning with you and rejoicing with you and sad with you. Please know that you have a friend on the other side of the nation who is here for you.
Bill
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