Monday, October 02, 2006

6 Months... One Day At A Time

Well, it's just passed the 6 month mark for Pawpaw's home going, on the 9th it'll be 6 months since Papa Hoyt, and a week after will be 6 months since Meomow also went home.

It's just so hard sometimes. It's still unreal. I go to Pawpaw's house and expect to see him on the swing with a big smile or to come from the garage with a handful of oranges and apples to give to us. Or asking us what fruit we need from the market.

I'm at Granny Duh's and just sit waiting for Papa Hoyt to come bounding around the corner with the latest joke followed by his hearty laugh. Or to watch him do an imitation of someone. Or to talk about the latest person he witnessed to.

And Meomow...oh, how glorious she looked to be 86. She was just incredible. So much energy. How she loved and praised the Lord. She loved us, her family. She was a strong woman of God who had a large family who loved God - thanks to her, and her example.

Three very important people ripped out of my life, weeks apart. It felt like my world was gone. I've learned that I survived one day, one hour, one minute at a time. It's not easy, God didn't promise that. He said He'd be there and walk with us.

6 months later, I've learned how faithful our God is and will be. He can be trusted. Even when things fall apart, He provides someone, something to stablize us and get us through - I'm a living example of that.

They will never be forgotten. They were my life, people who helped to ground me in the Lord. They supported my spiritual walk in ways no one else could. They are the everyday heros you run into, and don't realize it until it's too late to tell them.

If only I could hug them one more time, tell them they were my hero... Oh, how hard it can still be.

How I cherish the moments I spent at the hospital with Pawpaw. The time I spend holding his hand, getting his feet warm, feeding him his last meal (unknowingly at the time).

Or when we were rushing to the hospital to check on Papa Hoyt's condition. I never, ever thought I would never get to see him laugh again. I remember him laying there and waiting on him to get up and say something funny. I'm so thankful I was with my grandmother. I realized something at that time, something God just seemed to put in she was crying and asking how everyone was and how this was our last grandfather, I told her "Granny Duh, I'm not sure how yet but we will find a way." Some days I'm still not so sure, but I remember the strength our family had during it all.

Ok, I'm gonna end this before I start tearing up again...

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Sunday, September 24, 2006

I'm baaaaaack!

Hey guys,

Ok, I took a little time off but now I'm back...but with a little different URL, unfortunately. For some reason, it kept giving me an error when I tried to keep my original. So now it's changed to If anyone has any ideas or help with that, I'd be grateful! Hopefully I'll be able to get it all back...but for now...

I'll be back to making regular posts now! So excited about it!

Friday, August 25, 2006


...are not cool! Ok, I've got to run to wally world, right? Right! Well, I usually go with my partner in crime - T. So we head out to get what we need...

So, we're getting our list and we're about 80% done. Head to the hair section...well, around the corner comes some guy we had "noticed" and labeled the type to watch out for. A guy in a hair section...not a good thing. He's on the phone and walks up to me and T...

"'Sup girls? I'm not from around here, but I'm here with some friends tonight and we got a little party happening over by the college..."

We're giving him these looks like, yeah...what do you want us to do about it?

He goes into introductions and shakes our hands! Oh, I'm starting to be like ok, I'm ready to move on. I give generalities and no information whatsoever. He finishes telling us about this party. "Yeah, just me and a few, getting know.....nothing too crazy." He looks at T, "Are you like look like you've been......right." She looks at me like, Did he just ask what I thought he did? and give him a crazy look like, I'm not believing you just said that... Without missing a beat, he continues, "I'm from Atlanta and we're just here for a while.....yeah, and girls....we just don't see them like you two!" FINALLY, he walks off! I'm rejoicing!

We're like...that was weird. He talked to us for like 7 minutes.....SEVEN MINUTES! That's a long, long, long time when you're "cornered" in the hair section....We talked about ball, food, I heard "party" more times than I could count....I'm about ready to have it out with somebody!

So, as we move on watching for this one guy.....we notice two more "watch-out-fors" (not in a good way, people!)....and I'm going, Next time, I'm not using my real name... so we conspire to use "fake" names....kinda fun! LOL Anyway, so on our way to check out we notice one of our black belt instructors, Jessie, there.

We go on and check out, he's on the phone we're ready to get away from this dude. I'd like to say hey, but he waves and I wave...and he's on the phone. So, we continue checking out. A few moments later, he's back. I bow and we say hey, talk about how we're doing, and catch up. He moves on to do whatever and we return to checking out....

Then the 2nd "watch-out-for" dude walks up..."Hey girls...I was noticing you two and wanted to know if you'd like to hang out..." I'm thinking, not now...we just go finished...I wasn't planning on doing this again so soon....I'm gonna have some fun this time!

He asks for our names, we execute our "plan" beautifully.

Then I speak up, "You aren't inviting us to another party, are you? We've already had one guy do that...." I just trail off and T looks at him, raises her eyebrows at me, and looks back at him - like she's not believing I just said that.

", not a drinking or anything like that...." haha, busted!

"We've got something to do tonight..." I tell him...and we do!

"Ok...later then!" He walks off!

I've had enough creeps to last a while now. We finish checking out, pay, and start to head out. As we're about to out the doors, I realize the 2nd dude is right outside the door with another buddy, possible even three or four. I remember Jessie and how he was checking out as we left...I grab T's arm and whisper, "We're not going out yet.....they are waiting for us....Jessie's checking out....Let's walk out with him!"

She nods in agreement. So, we make small talk with the sweet greeter there. Jessie finishes and heads our way. I walk up to him and explain that we've had some guys trying to get us to go to parties and they are outside the doors...and asks him if he would please walk us out.

"Not a problem!" He cheerfully says with a smile.

He goes with us, and to beat it all his tee shirt said, "Black belt instructor" on the back in big letters! haha

He puts his arm around me as we're walking out..."Those guys will just wish they're like me when they grow up!" LOL You've just gotta know Jessie, you gotta love him! I look back to see if the guys were still there at that point...nope! They saw Jessie and his tee shirt and ran the other way - tails tucked! ha

He was just as sweet as he could be. He stayed right there and talked to us the entire time we loaded groceries. We finished and he was like, "Ya'll have a great night!" and heads to his car. I start to take the buggy to put it up (I hate to see people being lazy and just leave their buggy there to dent someone else's offense if you do that...) and he's like, "Oh, let me get that for you! Just get in the car!"

Awww, I couldn't show my appreciation enough! I wanted to give him a big hug and try to communicate some of it, but words or actions couldn't begin to show it! He was just so sweet and thoughtful! And doing it so cheerfully! He just is one of those people that make you want to smile all over! :-)

So, we survived our night of stalkers and creeps - many thanks to Mr. Jessie!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Heart Broken

Awww, it's so pitiful... Ok, I've been going to my grandmother's to help her babysit kids (ages like 3-8) one afternoon a week. I've been getting out and playing baseball with much fun! LOL

Well, there's this one particular little boy...I like to call him A-Jacks. I was messing with my phone and he walked up to me and said, "Boyfriend gives you kisses!"

I just's like a 5-year-old telling me this stuff. What do you say?

"Does you haves a boyfriends?"

"No, AJ, I don't...why?"

"'Cause I's wants to be your boyfriends and gives you kisses!" He looked up at me, "I gives you kisses!"

I leaned over and point to my could I resist a kiss from a cute boy? haha

Well, today was my day to go...and AJ knew it. But my knee has been giving me trouble all week and today it just got worse. So I called my grandmother and explained what was happening. She said AJ had been looking forward to me coming all week last week. And he'd probably come in asking. She then told me to hold on, he was walking in. He came in, said hey, then asked the fatal question...."Where's Maedan?" Oh yeah, he calls me "Maedan!" Isn't that sweet?

"Well..." my Meme expalins, "Her knee is hurting really bad and she won't be able to come today."

"But I wanted Maedan t' come!"

Meme offers the phone to AJ and tells him to talk to me.

"No!" says AJ, "She's nod comin'.......I don' wanna talk to no one!"

It just broke my heart! So, all of you guys out there, I'm sorry to say I'm not single anymore...I've got a 5-year-old boyfriend who's irresistable and gets his heart broken easily! hehe

Sunday, August 13, 2006

BBQ with the Governor! :-)

I had a great time at this BBQ! It was great to have some time to hang out while getting some "work" done...although it's not so much like work to me - I enjoy it!

I met a new friend, got to witness a few hilarious "firsts," sign up tons of volunteers, and get a great picture with the governor!

There are several candidates I finally got to meet! Some I had heard great things about, others I didn't know much about at all!

A guy was there, recording for the opponents' benefit! Apparently, he's there recording every speech the Governor gives - as he's up for reelection in November. They are waiting for him to make a mistake in a speech. The Governor saw him, called his name, introduced him as being from the other side, and offered him a front row seat - to record from! He looked in the camera and said, "Hi Mark!" haha

The first lady of Georgia is a wonderful lady. She just talked and talked to Judy, my "boss" and "politlcal mom." Then she allowed us to get a picture!

It was just a great day. Even though it rained pretty good twice - and it was an outdoor event! Thankfully, they had these huge tents set up....and I had an umbrella!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

His Work, My Heart...

I know I haven't been so regular about posting...but life happens and gets in the midst of things, right?

No, God's been teaching me things and revealing some things to me. He's changing me, shaping me, molding me into someone better. One of the "issues" he's been dealing with me a lot lately is forgiveness. It's strange, because a friend of mine has been reading Wild at Heart. This morning, I picked up the book and read a piece in the chapter Healing the Wound. And as we chatted tonight, he mentioned something about it and how God was dealing with him in that area! I thought it was neat!

Anyway, in this chapter John Eldredge says...

You must understand: Forgiveness is a choice. It is not a feeling, but an at of the will. As Neil Anderson has written, "Don't wait to forgive until you feel like forgiving; you will never get there. Feelings take time to heal after the choice to forgive is made." We allow God to bring the hurt up from our past, for "if your forgiveness doesn't visit the emotional core of your life, it will be incomplete." We acknowledge that it hurt, that it mattered, and we choose to extend forgiveness. This is not saying, "It didn't really matter"; it is not saying, "I probably deserved it anyway." Forgiveness says, "It was wrong, it mattered, and I release you."

Wow, forgiveness is actually realizing and admitting that what someone did to you hurt...a lot! I'm the type that likes to go on, pretend it never happened. But, it finds some nasty ways to "reveal" the hurt! What's your way of dealing with it? Do you get angry? Perhaps you lash out at others? Maybe you try to ignore it, until it all builds in and the steam just finally explodes all over an innocent person? It's so hard for me to admit it, because it means I opened myself up, I was vulnerable to it, to someone.

Another thing He's been working with me on is giving people the benefit of the doubt. You see, one of my spiritual gifts is discernment - I can usuallyjudge someone's character and will be right about 90% of the time. Not to brag or say how awesome I am, but that's just a gift He blessed me with. But sometimes in that, I have the potential to judge other 10% and not give them a chance to "redeem" themselves after my judgment has been passed! LOL But He's been working with on this, as Natalie Grant's Another Day lyrics go...

Another day to make somebody smile
To go the extra mile
To take a wrong and make it right
Yeh, I’m tryin’ to touch somebody’s life
I get another day

As I've been listening to the song, the part where it says, to take a wrong and make it right just really seems to get to me. When I listen to a song, I visualize the Sign Language that would accompany it. And the words I would use to communicate it would be the same to communicate to take an evil, a sin, a bad and change it to good, blessing, love. Not only am I taking the wrong away, but I'm putting a blessing in it's place.

When I judge someone so rashly and their intentions are better than I judge, I in fact did them wrong. Not that I need to stop looking at people adiscerninging what I feel, but that I need to be able to take a step back and admit I might not have it all figured out.

That's where I need to have the guts to say, "Hey, I mis-judged who they were, what they are. It's time to re-examine what they meant and what I feel." Guys, it's so incredibly hard to do that. But, it's a must.

Why can't people just be themselves and not have to worry about hiding their intentions? I would think that changing from the inside out would be so much easier than trying to "hide"...then people don't have to all the time worry about others knowing the real them, discovering they are just a fake.