His Work, My Heart...

I know I haven't been so regular about posting...but life happens and gets in the midst of things, right?

No, God's been teaching me things and revealing some things to me. He's changing me, shaping me, molding me into someone better. One of the "issues" he's been dealing with me a lot lately is forgiveness. It's strange, because a friend of mine has been reading Wild at Heart. This morning, I picked up the book and read a piece in the chapter Healing the Wound. And as we chatted tonight, he mentioned something about it and how God was dealing with him in that area! I thought it was neat!

Anyway, in this chapter John Eldredge says...

You must understand: Forgiveness is a choice. It is not a feeling, but an at of the will. As Neil Anderson has written, "Don't wait to forgive until you feel like forgiving; you will never get there. Feelings take time to heal after the choice to forgive is made." We allow God to bring the hurt up from our past, for "if your forgiveness doesn't visit the emotional core of your life, it will be incomplete." We acknowledge that it hurt, that it mattered, and we choose to extend forgiveness. This is not saying, "It didn't really matter"; it is not saying, "I probably deserved it anyway." Forgiveness says, "It was wrong, it mattered, and I release you."

Wow, forgiveness is actually realizing and admitting that what someone did to you hurt...a lot! I'm the type that likes to go on, pretend it never happened. But, it finds some nasty ways to "reveal" the hurt! What's your way of dealing with it? Do you get angry? Perhaps you lash out at others? Maybe you try to ignore it, until it all builds in and the steam just finally explodes all over an innocent person? It's so hard for me to admit it, because it means I opened myself up, I was vulnerable to it, to someone.

Another thing He's been working with me on is giving people the benefit of the doubt. You see, one of my spiritual gifts is discernment - I can usuallyjudge someone's character and will be right about 90% of the time. Not to brag or say how awesome I am, but that's just a gift He blessed me with. But sometimes in that, I have the potential to judge other 10% and not give them a chance to "redeem" themselves after my judgment has been passed! LOL But He's been working with on this, as Natalie Grant's Another Day lyrics go...

Another day to make somebody smile
To go the extra mile
To take a wrong and make it right
Yeh, I’m tryin’ to touch somebody’s life
I get another day

As I've been listening to the song, the part where it says, to take a wrong and make it right just really seems to get to me. When I listen to a song, I visualize the Sign Language that would accompany it. And the words I would use to communicate it would be the same to communicate to take an evil, a sin, a bad and change it to good, blessing, love. Not only am I taking the wrong away, but I'm putting a blessing in it's place.

When I judge someone so rashly and their intentions are better than I judge, I in fact did them wrong. Not that I need to stop looking at people adiscerninging what I feel, but that I need to be able to take a step back and admit I might not have it all figured out.

That's where I need to have the guts to say, "Hey, I mis-judged who they were, what they are. It's time to re-examine what they meant and what I feel." Guys, it's so incredibly hard to do that. But, it's a must.

Why can't people just be themselves and not have to worry about hiding their intentions? I would think that changing from the inside out would be so much easier than trying to "hide"...then people don't have to all the time worry about others knowing the real them, discovering they are just a fake.