6 Months... One Day At A Time

Well, it's just passed the 6 month mark for Pawpaw's home going, on the 9th it'll be 6 months since Papa Hoyt, and a week after will be 6 months since Meomow also went home.

It's just so hard sometimes. It's still unreal. I go to Pawpaw's house and expect to see him on the swing with a big smile or to come from the garage with a handful of oranges and apples to give to us. Or asking us what fruit we need from the market.

I'm at Granny Duh's and just sit waiting for Papa Hoyt to come bounding around the corner with the latest joke followed by his hearty laugh. Or to watch him do an imitation of someone. Or to talk about the latest person he witnessed to.

And Meomow...oh, how glorious she looked to be 86. She was just incredible. So much energy. How she loved and praised the Lord. She loved us, her family. She was a strong woman of God who had a large family who loved God - thanks to her, and her example.

Three very important people ripped out of my life, weeks apart. It felt like my world was gone. I've learned that I survived one day, one hour, one minute at a time. It's not easy, God didn't promise that. He said He'd be there and walk with us.

6 months later, I've learned how faithful our God is and will be. He can be trusted. Even when things fall apart, He provides someone, something to stablize us and get us through - I'm a living example of that.

They will never be forgotten. They were my life, people who helped to ground me in the Lord. They supported my spiritual walk in ways no one else could. They are the everyday heros you run into, and don't realize it until it's too late to tell them.

If only I could hug them one more time, tell them they were my hero... Oh, how hard it can still be.

How I cherish the moments I spent at the hospital with Pawpaw. The time I spend holding his hand, getting his feet warm, feeding him his last meal (unknowingly at the time).

Or when we were rushing to the hospital to check on Papa Hoyt's condition. I never, ever thought I would never get to see him laugh again. I remember him laying there and waiting on him to get up and say something funny. I'm so thankful I was with my grandmother. I realized something at that time, something God just seemed to put in me...as she was crying and asking how everyone was and how this was our last grandfather, I told her "Granny Duh, I'm not sure how yet but we will find a way." Some days I'm still not so sure, but I remember the strength our family had during it all.

Ok, I'm gonna end this before I start tearing up again...