well, guys, things seemed to be headed in a positive direction, so we were all planning on going to karate and dad was going to go to the hospital after, and i was planning on going with him to check on papaw and see what was happening. well, those plans fell through when dad got a call that my grandmother wanted him at the hospital, so mom decided she would go with him and us three girls could go to karate. but, i really felt i needed to go to the hospital with them. so, we skipped karate and headed to the hospital.

as it turns out, the doctors are saying he's not going to get better, at all. according to them, his lungs are like cardboard and not asorbing enough oxygen. i think last night was the "reality" point where we all were forced to realize this and it had to soak in. as meme told aunt kim, "this is something we've known for a long time. there's the stage of knowing it, the stage of it happening, and the stage of accepting it. i know it's not easy, but we have got to accept it now. we don't have a choice." bless her heart, she's been so strong for him and has done everything he ever needed done. she's facing losing her lifetime partner and is able to keep that strength about her.

what is papaw thinking? here all these people are around him weeping, and while we love him so and don't want to lose him, he knows it's because of him but there's absolutely nothing he can do. while he can't talk - haha, he never did talk much, but he's like my dad and uncle marty, if they say anything you better listen because it's something guaranteed to be wise - he can still hear and know exactly what's happening. but, as we all are trying to take comfort in, he's headed to a better place where he won't have to labor to breath.

side note: today is my mother's birthday, so hop over to radical one and wish her a happy birthday. i hate all of this must be happening on her birthday...